Weddings are wonderful affairs that we commemorate with our loved ones –our families in particular. For a tight-knit community, we might even go as far as inviting all of our neighbors and relations (including distant ones) to the grand event to make it a bit more memorable. All this is well and good as days prior to the big and momentous day, you and your family will finally have that much needed time to bond together and create more memories.
However, an unforeseen predicament presents itself once relatives or more particularly family starts interfering with your wedding plans. As you draft your wedding plans, you will notice your mother making subtle hints about where to hold your wedding while your dad is giving you unsolicited advice on how to curb your finances. Too much of this may stress you out, which is why some couples opt to elect the assistance of a wedding coordinator. But there are couples who are more inclusive of their families’ suggestions and recommendations. Although this is a great way to save on wedding expenses, it can potentially cause a lot of stress and anxiety especially during last few days prior to the wedding day. Some family members may be unrelenting with regards to their religious belief (with your grandma insisting on holding a traditional wedding in San Agustin Church while your sister preferring it to be a picturesque wedding by the beach). Whatever it may be, tensions will inevitable escalate especially when the counsel of a family member does not sit well with the couple or worse when the family members could not agree among themselves.
So before electing the assistance of family in wedding plans, here are four things you must do to avoid stressing each other out.
BE AWARE OF YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES
Everyone has their own dream wedding. However, first and foremost, this is your wedding day and your family should refrain from making you as their avenue for realizing the dream wedding they never had. Before you get into concrete planning, sit down with your fiancé and discuss which areas are non negotiables for you. For an instance, if you and your fiancé want your wedding to occur in a beachfront, no one should get a say with regards to that. Make this list of items the things you are not willing to compromise is so that come deeper planning with your family members, they will know you have set boundaries on where you can take suggestions and where you will absolutely not.
COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR VENDORS
This is crucial as it makes sure there are no family members or guests rubbed in the wrong way. If there be a need to make special family accommodations such as a strategic seating plan (for relatives who are divorced or annulled and cannot absolutely stand each other)or a special seat of honor for your late grandparent who passed away before your wedding day. This may be something your relatives may inform you beforehand but should they neglect to do so, you know them best and it is imperative that you apprise your vendors on any sort of anticipated needs of requests. In this way, everyone can have an equally pleasant experience during your wedding day.
DISCUSS SENSITIVE MATTERS DURING NEUTRAL MOMENTS
It is inevitable that wedding planning can get a little too intense at times that something as little as a common misunderstanding will escalate into a full blown argument. This can cause deep seated resentment if left as is and really, who wants to walk down the aisle with a heavy heart? These things can start from something as little as a friendly banter than an overstressed bride to be took the wrong way or even a bit of bickering regarding the wedding plans that would render brides and particular family members in tears. To prevent this from happening, discuss sensitive matters months prior to the wedding day and discuss them in a neutral environment. Not when everyone is rather busy with last minute preparations.
Consider that the wedding is supposed to be you and your significant other’s big day and although your family has your best interest at heart and you have the warmest affections for them, never let their suggestions impede you from having the wedding you and your fiancé envisioned. Remember, you are only going to walk that aisle once. There are no do overs.