“Marriage is not a noun, it is a verb. It is not something you get, it is something you do. It is the way you love your partner every single day.” – Barbara De Angelis
What makes a successful marriage?
How is that some couples’ love for each other can withstand the test of time, yet some couples who have been married for only about a decade and a half could not even see eye to eye with each other? What is the secret to having a perfect marriage without the risk of it ever falling apart?
Well, unfortunately my friend, the secret is that there is not a single marriage that is perfect. There are, however, marriages that are happy because the couple is willing to fight for each other rather than against each other. They resolve issues together rather than throw more into the mix. If you have been newly engaged, you may have given this a lot of contemplation and thought. So, while you are there immersed in your thoughts about your impending nuptials, let me the first one to tell you that your married life would not stay in perpetual bliss and you would never be eternally in love with your partner for the rest of your married life.
The hard truth is that there are days wherein you will get on each other’s nerves and at times, you would disagree on even the most nonsensical stuff. However, this is not definitive of a dysfunctional relationship rather, these are the events that would help shape you both as a couple as if you have managed to resolve it head on, you would both grow and mature. This is just a fraction of what would be a multitude of some of the best marriage advice and if you are one-half of a couple experiencing some crisis as to how your married life would turn out, then read below for some of the best marriage advice collated. So that when you do finally stand on the altar or walk the aisle of Binondo Church or wherever, you would be ready to say “I do”.
1.) REGULARLY COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER
Appreciate the small things about your spouse as it makes for an easier and happier marriage. This is something akin to an “affective affirmation”, small gestures such as compliments, hand holding, a chaste kiss on the cheek can already help make your spouse’s day. Additionally, it would bring you both closer. Engage in a few “affective affirmations” every single day and you would see how it would drastically improve your relationship.
2.) DISCOVER NEW THINGS TOGETHER
When you have been married for a long time, you would feel like things are rather habitual and your relationship would start to feel like a routine. To prevent this from happening, discover new things with your spouse by going on various adventures with them without the kids. Have a solitary date or adventure with just the both of you as this will help strengthen your bond or reignite the burnt embers of your love for each other. Go camping, skydiving, or visit an entirely new place and just get lost in each other again.
3.) HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE AS WELL
Just because you are married, it does not mean you are joined at the hip. Connect with your friends and family, pursue your own interests and develop your career. Independence even in a married life is crucial as it indicates that you are still your own person. If you focus your living days just attending to your spouse without having any interests of your own, you have placed yourself in a precarious situation wherein your entire world revolves around them. This can turn sour pretty soon as you would expect the same treatment in return and every small thing that may go wrong would become an issue for you. So live your own life, and let your spouse live their own and at the end of the day, connect with each other again.
4.) DO NOT MAKE COMPARISONS
Some couples voice out their dissatisfaction with their own marriage to their spouses by giving it a critical analysis and by comparing it with what they perceive is their friends’ fairytale marriages. This is a critical mistake and in essence, what your partner hears is that they are not enough to make you happy or, at least, satisfied. Remember, you are not necessarily privy to all the details of other people’s marriages. Sure, they may tell you all the highlights and happy moments but they may have neglected to mention some of the sour ones. Focus on your own marriage and stop comparing it to the union of others or you will end up perpetually comparing your marriage to that of others and miss the small things that make yours great.