Bridesmaids 101: Five Things You Should Never Say to the Bride


Your long-time best friend has finally announced that she is getting engaged and you could not be any more ecstatic to hear the news. You have received the formal invitations and were very pleased to know that you have been given that rare honor of being a part of her entourage as one of her bridesmaids. You inwardly sigh with glee as you envision yourself sauntering on the long aisle of The Glass Garden, all dolled up with your hair and makeup—that is until you have finally seen the final design of your bridesmaid’s dress.

The truth is, we have all been there at some point in our lives attending weddings as part of the wedding entourage. We have all read and even shared some funny anecdotes about how we dislike some aspect in the wedding we attended and at a degree, it is okay. However, it is important to consider that this is not your wedding and that the logistics of planning it are probably not the same as how you would have yours. No matter what aspect it is in their wedding you do not like, you must keep mum and smile through—unless you would like to face the wrath of a stressed out bridezilla on her wedding day. So, no matter how much you detest what you are to wear, you have to smile through it. And along with that, here are a few things that you should never say to a bride on her wedding day.

1.) “I really dislike this dress”

Ah, the proverbial predicament of hating the dress you are assigned to wear on her wedding day. Let us be honest here, there are times that the bride would pick out a style that would look totally unflattering on us or would not suit us at all. But you have to remember that even the bride herself wants every single one of you to look, but finding a stylish and universally flattering dress is next to impossible. But if the bride has been kind enough to vouch for what you would wear on her wedding day, it is the height of discourtesy to complain about it.

2.) “No kids allowed? Well, I’m going to bring my kid anyway”

Holding an event without kids is totally up to the bride and groom and this in no way would connote that they dislike kids. This means that they want an occasion free from disruptions such as crying on ceremonies or diaper changes. Additionally, you have to consider that the couple is paying for everyone’s meal in the room (most especially if there is a strict headcount). If you disregard the bride’s simple request, you are essentially asking her to pay for another head that would be present at her wedding.

3.) “I would never do ______ at my wedding”

The point here is, it is her wedding and not yours. You two will have very different versions of what a perfect wedding should be. Telling her what you would and would not do on your wedding is akin to imposing your perfect wedding on her. Enjoy your friend’s wedding for what it is and have your own version of a happily ever after during your own time.

4.) “I might not be there, something just came up”

Emergencies are inevitable, but if you sound like this is something you have foreseen and you have already accepted to be her bridesmaid, then you would need to come clean to the bride. Do not inconvenience the bride because something came up at the last minute as you would only be causing her a lot more to do with your absence.

5.) “I cannot believe you did not make me your maid of honor”

The thing is, with a whole lot to consider such as availability, family members, your locations and your schedule, the bride probably had to think and rethink it over when she chose her maid of honor. Chances are she gave it to someone else seeing that they would better fit their role. Remember, selecting a maid of honor does not rely on your relationship factor alone and even if she chose another maid of honor, that in no way would mean you are demoted from being her best friend. Just be happy you were given a part on her big day.

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