No matter how in love or sure you are about your future spouse, weeks or months before your wedding day, you may experience a bout of pre-wedding jitters that would render you jittery, anxious and at times, a nervous wreck. Not to worry, this is simply the case of pre-wedding stress getting to you—perhaps from meticulously planning the wedding menu down to the the strategic seating arrangement of your guests. However, you need to sit down and contemplate about your proposal or your upcoming marriage if you are suddenly having doubts about your future partner—ones that would not go away after days of trying to relax. If you are having persistent qualms about your wedding, perhaps reviewing what the top three reasons for pre-wedding jitters would help you identify what is causing your anxiety.
1.) The wedding day
Sometimes, the wedding day itself would cause you incredible stress and anxiety. This is especially true for rather large weddings wherein every single one’s family, friend and relative are invited. Having all the people you care about in one room can cause you to worry especially if there are divorced parents, step-parents and even estranged family members involved, the wedding day can particularly be stressful. In other cases, it could be that being the spotlight is what is causing the stress. However, in any case, and in all instances, you should get support for your wedding day as this is essential. A counselor or a wedding planner would help you create a plan for dealing with difficult family members.
2.) Becoming a “wife” or “husband”
More often than not, the marriage of our parents would give us the first real insight of what a marriage is like and sometimes, their marriages would serve as the blueprint of yours. If your parents went through a particularly rocky relationship or if you came from a broken home or a home filled with anger, shame, neglect and violence, intimacy is something you would rarely see. If this is the case, we entertain the fear that we will turn out to be just like them no matter how irrational that may be/ Take note that you are not your parents so you do not exactly have to mirror your blueprint. Similarly, you can also choose not to repeat the same mistakes they have done. In any case, just because your parents did not have a happy marriage does not mean that yours is also doomed from the get-go.
3.) The plan after I-do
Remember that an essential thing before proposing to your significant other or even agreeing to become man and wife is to know what your plans are after the wedding. Some of these would involve significant questions that would determine you would do as a couple after your respective “I do’s”. These questions include if you want kids, where you should live, how much money you plan to make, how to budget, what kind of ambitions you would both have—and other questions of a similar tone. When you have talked about this with your partner, then well and good as you would at least know what your plans would be after the wedding and are least likely to stumble into a complication or come across a problem. However, if this is something you and your partner have barely discussed or never even talked about your problem then it would be understandable why you have wedding jitters that may even be particularly overwhelming.
Some couples think that these are the things they can work out after marriage and everything would fall into place right after.
However, a wedding is a major milestone in life and should you find that you and your partner are not on the same page as regards some aspects of marital life, you will end up having a lot of conflicts and arguments in the future. Before joining the nuptial club, consider having a one on one talk with your partner or find a couples counselor who would guide you both through discussions that would assist you create goals for yourselves and negotiate when your needs and desires differ.
Although it is normal to be wary about lasting decisions in life (such as choosing a life partner), the same cannot be said about persistent anxiety and worries about the state of your relationship and your marriage after you both have said I do. To know the root cause of you nuptial jitters, it would be wise to identify what is causing your stress to distinguish if what you are experiencing is a simple case of pre-wedding anxiety or something even more—and worth talking about with your fiance or fiancee.