Bridesmaids 101: Five Things You Should Never Say to the Bride


Your long-time best friend has finally announced that she is getting engaged and you could not be any more ecstatic to hear the news. You have received the formal invitations and were very pleased to know that you have been given that rare honor of being a part of her entourage as one of her bridesmaids. You inwardly sigh with glee as you envision yourself sauntering on the long aisle of The Glass Garden, all dolled up with your hair and makeup—that is until you have finally seen the final design of your bridesmaid’s dress.

The truth is, we have all been there at some point in our lives attending weddings as part of the wedding entourage. We have all read and even shared some funny anecdotes about how we dislike some aspect in the wedding we attended and at a degree, it is okay. However, it is important to consider that this is not your wedding and that the logistics of planning it are probably not the same as how you would have yours. No matter what aspect it is in their wedding you do not like, you must keep mum and smile through—unless you would like to face the wrath of a stressed out bridezilla on her wedding day. So, no matter how much you detest what you are to wear, you have to smile through it. And along with that, here are a few things that you should never say to a bride on her wedding day.

1.) “I really dislike this dress”

Ah, the proverbial predicament of hating the dress you are assigned to wear on her wedding day. Let us be honest here, there are times that the bride would pick out a style that would look totally unflattering on us or would not suit us at all. But you have to remember that even the bride herself wants every single one of you to look, but finding a stylish and universally flattering dress is next to impossible. But if the bride has been kind enough to vouch for what you would wear on her wedding day, it is the height of discourtesy to complain about it.

2.) “No kids allowed? Well, I’m going to bring my kid anyway”

Holding an event without kids is totally up to the bride and groom and this in no way would connote that they dislike kids. This means that they want an occasion free from disruptions such as crying on ceremonies or diaper changes. Additionally, you have to consider that the couple is paying for everyone’s meal in the room (most especially if there is a strict headcount). If you disregard the bride’s simple request, you are essentially asking her to pay for another head that would be present at her wedding.

3.) “I would never do ______ at my wedding”

The point here is, it is her wedding and not yours. You two will have very different versions of what a perfect wedding should be. Telling her what you would and would not do on your wedding is akin to imposing your perfect wedding on her. Enjoy your friend’s wedding for what it is and have your own version of a happily ever after during your own time.

4.) “I might not be there, something just came up”

Emergencies are inevitable, but if you sound like this is something you have foreseen and you have already accepted to be her bridesmaid, then you would need to come clean to the bride. Do not inconvenience the bride because something came up at the last minute as you would only be causing her a lot more to do with your absence.

5.) “I cannot believe you did not make me your maid of honor”

The thing is, with a whole lot to consider such as availability, family members, your locations and your schedule, the bride probably had to think and rethink it over when she chose her maid of honor. Chances are she gave it to someone else seeing that they would better fit their role. Remember, selecting a maid of honor does not rely on your relationship factor alone and even if she chose another maid of honor, that in no way would mean you are demoted from being her best friend. Just be happy you were given a part on her big day.

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7 Dreaded Mistakes to Avoid When Sending Save-the-Dates

Some brides-to-be may ask ‘do we need to send save-the-dates?’ Yes, you should especially if you want them to block their schedules on your chosen day to be there on your wedding day. Without a save-the-date card, how will you tell them the wedding will be in Santuario de San Antonio on July 22, 2015, 3pm? Would you rather hear your friends tell you ‘Oh we have to skip your wedding because of the Paris trip we planned months ago.’ Heartbreaking, isn’t it?

Now that you’ve finally decided to send save-the-dates, avoid these grisly mistakes.

1) Sending too late

The rule of thumb when sending save-the-date is the earlier, the better. Early notifications will guide your guests as to when they should file their vacation leaves earlier and arrange their travel plans and accommodations.  Wedding experts say that the best time to send save-the-date cards is 5 to 6 months before the wedding day. That’s the safest time allowance whether the wedding will be a local or destination wedding.


2) Failing to personalize

Not because they are just save-the-dates, you will send just about anything that comes to your mind. It would better to send save-the-date cards that fit your chosen theme wedding. Look for inspiration online. Remember that the save-the-date is your guests’ first glimpse of your wedding. Build the excitement by teasing them with the design of your save-the-date card.

3) Failing to identify who is invited exactly

Don’t forget to write the names of the recipients; they will surely appreciate that you took the time putting or printing their names on the envelope or the card itself. Drop the ‘Surname and Family,’ and be specific with names. Be clear on who you are inviting.  At this stage, you may tell your guests if your wedding will be an ‘Adults Only’ event. With this, they can arrange for babysitting early on and not skip your wedding because they cannot leave their tots behind.


4) Failing to include location details

Possibly, decide on the location first before sending your save-the-dates. Remember that your guests need to get a leg-up in planning accordingly especially if your wedding will be a destination wedding. People will assume that you will marry somewhere near your place, but this is not always true, right? There is no need to include unnecessary details such as registry info and directions.

5) Failing to include other important wedding details

Include the type of celebration, that is if the wedding is a weekday or weekend wedding and if it will be a morning, afternoon or evening wedding. If you’ve created your own wedding website, include the URL in the save-the-date. Your website will become handy in case your guests want to know about the other details of your wedding such as timeframes and pre-, during and post-wedding activities, among others.


6) Sending save-the-dates but not invitations

Those people who receive the save-the-date cards must also receive the invites. You cannot un-invite those who receive the save-the-dates.  With this, make sure that your guest list is already settled before you send the cards. Bottom-line, don’t send the cards to anyone who you are not certain regarding inviting. If the person you sent the save-the-date to had initially declined, you still need to send him or her the invitation. Plans change, and he or she might have already regretted saying no in the first place.

7) Including response cards

Response cards or RSVP cards are for invitations only and not for save-the-dates. Save-the-date cards are for announcement purposes only. So, don’t bother asking for feedbacks just yet. Optionally, you may put the phrase ‘Invitation to Follow’ to avoid confusion.

Save-the-dates are the perfect way of pre-announcing that you are about to face a life of wedded bliss. However, you don’t send a save-the-date haphazardly; there are basic etiquettes to live by and mistakes to avoid. Hope the above information will help you in creating and sending your cards.

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