“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”-Mignon Mclaughlin
One of the best things about attending a wedding reception is getting to hear various wedding guests—especially those closest to the couple—regale the hall with tales and anecdotes of the couple’s adventures (or even misadventures). At times, a lot of pressure is put on the wedding speech giver to ensure that what he or she will deliver would not only be perfect but memorable and a fun one as well.
However, remember that for the most part, the wedding speech you are giving is mostly for the couple and would only serve as entertainment to those listening in. In that regard, you would not want to include personal matters that only you and the couple are privy to in your speech. While you might want to entertain the wedding guests, you would also not want to disclose stories that are either too personal or embarrassing for the couple. Keep it light, fun and entertaining without being over the top. Remember, there is a variety of ways to keep your speech from being boring without resorting to spilling the sordid details of what your friend did way back in college. More importantly, it is imperative to keep in mind that with a captive audience of both the bride and groom’s family and friends, what you leave out of your speech or toast is just as important as what you put in. So, what should be left out then? Here are some of the things that should never be included in wedding toasts and speeches for comedic effect or whatever reason:
Your errant misadventures with your friend
Regardless of how small, funny or insignificant an infraction might be it should never make it into a wedding speech when it involves getting in trouble with the law. Sure, you and your friend might have found the time wherein you got busted for underage drinking funny but your friend certainly would not appreciate you sharing that fact to all of his or her friends and relatives. Reminiscing about old times might bring in the nostalgia but it is inappropriate to share with someone’s in-laws, colleagues and grandparents in the room. Save those stories for bachelor and bachelorette parties but for your wedding toast or speech, offer a fond memory that speaks highly of the couple’s characters.
Bringing up any trouble in paradise
If you happen to be privy about the couple’s private lives such as knowing whether or not the family approves of him or that one time they fought about their finances, know that they made you a confidante for a reason. With that said, your wedding toast is definitely not the best place to bring that up—even if the couple did manage to reconcile or patch things up. Leave any mention of internal family drama or conflict out of your toast as you might potentially spell trouble for them.
Any of the couple’s exes
A wedding is neither the time nor the place to bring up any of the couples’ exes. Remember, the wedding is about the couple who just tied the knot and are about to start a future together. In this regard, you should not bring up anything—or anyone for that matter—from their pasts as it would only succeed in making them feel uncomfortable. More importantly, it would be sure to make their wedding guests ill at ease as well. In lieu of bringing up their exes, regale the audience with a story of how the couple met instead.
What transpired in the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties
Your wedding toast is not an avenue for you to expose your friend’s shenanigans and wild side. Keep in mind that what happens on the respective parties should only stay there. Remind yourself of why you and your friend have been with each other for the longest time and have had each other’s backs through the good times and the bad. Do not include any unflattering stories about your friend or the couple in your toast and instead, use it as an opportunity to tell the audience what you love about the couple and why you value their friendship.
An inside joke
An inside joke is called an inside joke for a reason. In this regard, it should only stay between you and your friend. Remember, you want everyone to be able to relate to your speech about the couple. So, if you recall a time that only you and your friend would know about, you will undoubtedly have some of the audience members scratching their heads. As a result, the audience will feel left out and no one would understand why your story is actually funny. Remember, the guests want to know more about the couple and their relationship. So, try to steer your focus towards that instead of regaling them with inside joke only you would probably find funny.